Gay, Older, and Dating: I Have Survived! Now What? A Guest Post ...

The following is a guest post by Douglas C. Haldeman, Ph.D. who has been a Counseling Psychologist?in Independent Practice in Seattle for 29 years. His long publication?record includes over forty articles and book chapters on issues of?Diversity, Ethics, Family systems, Practice Guidelines for marginalized?groups, and competent treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and?transgender individuals and families. He has lectured on the?relationship between culture, family and mental health all over the?world. Dr. Haldeman is also currently running for APA President. You can find out more about his campaign here.

Gay, Older, and Dating: I Have Survived! Now What?

I am lucky to be a veteran of 40+ years of living as an out gay man and a psychologist in the LGBT community.? Living in the San Francisco area in the Seventies, I enjoyed the Disco Revolution; I marched with Harvey Milk; I sat bedside during the Eighties and Nineties at the deaths of countless patients and friends; and I did my part to rebuild our community in the ?00s, and have thankfully lived to tell the tale.? If you are reading this, you may be an older gay, lesbian, trans or bisexual person ? which in our community could be anyone over 40 ? and looking for love. Or you may be on your way to becoming an older gay person, so read on.

Let me first say that if you are looking for a one-nighter, fair enough: many older queer folk are not interested in a long-term relationship (LTR), or even dating, for a number of reasons.? Perhaps you have left or lost a partner, and are not up for the complexities of an LTR.? Or maybe you are simply too accustomed to the independence of single life.? Whatever the reason, by this stage in life, you know where to find what you need: online hookup sites (Scruff, Grindr, Manhunt, Adam4Adam, Craiglist) or the more traditional in-person, impersonal venues.

But if you are interested in dating, and the possibility of finding an LTR ? either again, or for the first time ? read on.? This article is dedicated to Boomers/Seniors looking for relationships, and many of the recommendations that apply to heterosexuals work for us too (see below).? But for LGBT Boomers/Seniors, there are some unique considerations in the mature quest for love.? As a psychologist who has worked with LGBT people from all generational cohorts for thirty years, I have some ideas that may help you in your search:

• Know what you want, and focus accordingly: These days, because of the Internet, it is much easier to connect with like-minded people in terms of dating.? Consider where you are in your life, and what you want: is it an LTR?? Casual dating?? Friendship?? What kind of people are you attracted to?? Those in your own generation, or others?? Be honest with yourself and others.? Engage with those whose relational goals are similar.

• Stay open: Be flexible in your ?requirements?.? Also, be flexible in your choice of venues.? For instance, do you remember what it was like before computers ?back in the day? when we actually met in person?? Go to bars; if you don?t like them, or don?t enjoy alcohol-saturated environments, join community groups; volunteer for LGBT causes.? If you live in a rural area where these options are not available, use your computer to connect ? or take a deep breath and try and start a club/interest group where you live.

• Focus on what is under your control, and leave the rest: Are there demons in your head, telling you that you?re too old/too fat/too washed-up to find a loving relationship?? Don?t do that to yourself; these thoughts must be confronted and replaced with positive thoughts, because they will not help you feel confident in your presentation to others.? Are you comfortable in your own body?? If not, take steps to address that.? It helps.? Regardless of your age or ability status, everyone can find something active that they like to do.? Be content with who you are and what you have, and it will be much easier feel good about yourself when you meet others ? of any age.

• Be honest: You know by now that ours is a youth-obsessed community, and it is easy for older people to feel invisible or marginalized.? Don?t buy into that; if you are patient, and sure of yourself, you will meet your Prince or Princess.? But you can?t lie, especially on the Internet, where lying seems to be the lingua franca of communicating.? Tell the truth about yourself (age, weight, SES, whatever) ? you know that whomever you are interested in is going to find out the truth sooner or later.? Be up-front and you?ll feel better about your communications.

• Don?t despair: there is a market for everyone: So you think you are over the hill, and that no beautiful person will ever look at you again?? Think again.? It?s easy to worry about that (see above), but don?t allow yourself to go there.? It will not help you achieve anything, and will erode your self-esteem.? Be vigilant against toxic thinking!? Attend community groups where the participation of older LGBT people is valued; if you go out, visit bars/clubs/coffehouses that have mixed-age clientelte.? And online?? There are good resources available for meeting people form all over the world who admire us older folk: Silverdaddies and Caffmoscommunity are a couple of reputable sites.

• MOST OF ALL, EMBRACE YOUR AGE: You are likely used to feeling that being over 40 is a deficit in our community.? If you are indeed over 40, challenge that thought: you cannot change your age, but you can change your attitude about it.? You are mature; you have wisdom; life experience; and a lot to offer.? Make your self-talk more positive with activities that bolster your confidence.? Get to the gym.? Hang out with your friends.? Make time for the things that enhance your self-care, whatever they may be, and for God?s sake, stop working so hard.? And if you don?t want to be in a relationship after all?? Absolutely fine.? We are gay, after all; we have already broken the boundaries of heterocentric social expectations (in plain English: social norms of living like straight people), so if you are more comfortable as a single person, good for you.? Let it be.

• Follow the basic recommendations for straight Boomers/Seniors: Some of these apply to us, and let?s start with safe sex.? In the past few years, the CDC has reported an alarming increase in new HIV infections in gay men over 50 ? an age cohort that has survived the initial wave of the health crisis.? What?s going on?? My theory is that so many of us older guys feel invisible, or just generally bad about ourselves, that we are willing to accept any kind of sexual attention, even if it is unsafe ? especially if we have had too much to drink.? Don?t do it.? You know the rules of safe sex by now.? Follow the rules for online dating that straight people endorse: get to know someone, be slow to trust them, meet informally and publicly at the beginning, etc.

• Use the resources dedicated to online dating for gay Boomers/Seniors: There are a number of reputable websites that offer advice, resources, social alternatives, and online communities for connecting with other LGBT Boomers/Seniors as those people who are interested in getting to know us better.? They include the AARP?s page for gay online dating, OutMaturity, and FromGaytoDecember.? Check them out.

Last but not least, enjoy yourself!? This can be an amazing time of life.? After all, we have survived (paraphrasing Gloria Gaynor), and as time goes by, we understand how precious life is.? Embrace your age and accept whatever health challenges you may have.? Put yourself out there.? Chances are, someone is waiting.

Source: http://drkkolmes.com/2012/09/04/gay-older-and-dating-i-have-survived-now-what-a-guest-post-by-doug-haldeman-ph-d/

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School" Home Improvement - Blue Sky Painting - kutuzov woodbine

The kids are back in school and things seem to be flowing a little bit more smoothly! Although, the traffic is heavier and cruising down 95 takes a tad longer than it did during the summer months. Oh well, there?s always next summer!
For many people in DC and Baltimore, ?back to school? not only means a little more structure to the day and the start of football season, it also prompts homeowners to work on home improvement projects before the winter comes.
If you?re like most folks, you know what projects need to get done around your home, but you may be unsure of how Blue Sky can help. So, here?s just a few reasons why other homeowners have been working with us this season:

• Powerwashing of decks and other surfaces to remove the film and gunk that grew during the warm, moist summer months
• Color! Fall brings the chance to freshen walls with bright, warm and fun colors.
• Whole-house exterior painting to protect and beautify their largest investment: their home
• Trim repair and replacement for trim that?s sagging, aging or rotting

Before you know it, the holidays will be here, so don?t delay on getting your fall ?back to school? projects done. Contact us today to discuss how we can help shrink your project list!
Have a great fall season,
Tom Chervek
Owner
Blue Sky Painting & Carpentry

Source: http://www.blueskypaintingpros.com/back-to-school-home-improvement.html

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Source: http://kutuzov-woodbine.blogspot.com/2012/09/to-school-home-improvement-blue-sky.html

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Stock futures rise, focus on data

LONDON (Reuters) - Stock futures pointed to a higher opening on Wall Street on Tuesday, tracking gains in Europe on Monday when the U.S. market was closed for the Labor Day holiday. Futures for the S&P 500, the Dow Jones and the Nasdaq 100 rose 0.2 to 0.4 percent.

The Institute for Supply Management releases its August manufacturing index at 10:00 a.m. EDT. Economists expect a reading of 50.0, versus 49.8 in July.

Xerox Corp and a wholly-owned unit that contracted with the U.S. state of Texas to process dental claim forms are being investigated to see if they helped allow dentists to submit higher-than-required bills under the state's Medicaid system, the Wall Street Journal reported.

Markit Economics Limited releases the U.S. final Markit Manufacturing PMI for August at 1258 GMT. The index read 51.9 in a preliminary estimate.

Heckmann said it would buy privately-held environmental services firm Power Fuels for about $380.5 million in cash and shares, to expand the waste water management group's footprint in the Bakken Shale basin, an unconventional oil shale.

The Commerce Department releases July construction spending numbers at 1400 GMT. Economists forecast a rise of 0.4 percent, a repeat of the June increase.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has pledged to take a strong message to Beijing this week on the need to calm regional tensions over maritime disputes that have raised broader fears of military friction between the two major Pacific powers.

European shares <.fteu3> fell 0.3 percent on Tuesday, with caution from investors ahead of a European Central Bank (ECB) meeting later this week limiting traders' appetite to buy riskier assets such as equities.

Moody's Investors Service has changed its outlook on the Aaa rating of the European Union to negative, warning it might downgrade the bloc if it decides to cut the ratings on the EU's four biggest budget backers: Germany, France, UK and Netherlands.

U.S. stocks rose on Friday after Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, expressing "grave concern" for the stagnating U.S. job market, said the central bank was prepared to take further steps to strengthen the economy if necessary.

The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> was up 90.13 points, or 0.69 percent, at 13,090.84. The Standard & Poor's 500 Index <.spx> was up 7.10 points, or 0.51 percent, at 1,406.58. The Nasdaq Composite Index <.ixic> was up 18.25 points, or 0.60 percent, at 3,066.96.

(Reporting by Atul Prakash)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/stock-futures-rise-focus-data-084813889--finance.html

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White House Beer: A Brewer Weighs In - NYTimes.com

Now that the White House has revealed its recipe for Honey Brown Ale, brewed by cooks in the White House kitchen using honey from its own hives (along with releasing a nifty video of the beer-making process), I thought it would be worth assessing the recipe and methods, and conjecturing on how the beer would taste. This required a beer-making professional, so I called on Garrett Oliver, brewmaster at the Brooklyn Brewery and editor of the encyclopedic ?Oxford Companion to Beer.?

Like most professional brewers, Mr. Oliver began as a home brewer, and so is intimately aware of the challenges and limitations of making beer in bathrooms and kitchens, even one as exalted as the White House.
?Brewing at home is very much like cooking at home ? it doesn?t bear much resemblance to professional brewing, but it can be done simply or very rigorously, and the results can be excellent,?? he told me, adding that the Brewers Association, a craft-brewing trade group, estimates that a million Americans make beer at home. (After word of the White House?s brewing experiment spread, many of them joined in urging President Obama?s aides to divulge the recipe.) ?The version of brewing they?re doing at the White House might be called ?second-level beginner.? ?

Rigorous professionals, Mr. Oliver said, brew with malted barley, adding hops at appropriate times during the process for aromas, flavors and bitterness. An absolute beginner would use a liquid malt extract to which hops have already been added, like baking brownies from a mix ? no muss, no fuss. The White House, Mr. Oliver said, has taken the next step, using a malt syrup but adding hop pellets, real hops that are ground up and pressed into pellets to preserve them. Most professional brewers, it should be noted, use hop pellets rather than actual hops.

?They?ve also added some crushed grains and steeped them like tea leaves,?? Mr. Oliver said. ?In this case, the biscuit malts give a toasty malt flavor, adding some complexity and fresh grain character. Amber crystal malts give a light caramel flavor.??

Most interesting to Mr. Oliver was the White House?s use of honey from its own hives, an ingredient often used by home brewers. ?This honey will give its own distinct flavor to the beer, but the sugars in honey will ferment completely, so the honey adds no sweetness,?? he said.

How does he think it would taste, extrapolating as a professional who is familiar with the ingredients and the methods?

?Light, crisp and dry, with some bready flavors from the malts, floral notes from the honey, and fruitiness from the British ale yeast,?? Mr. Oliver said. ?Altogether pleasant, great with seafood and salads, goat cheeses, or hanging out in the sunshine in the Rose Garden.??

As a next step, Mr. Oliver suggested that rather than using the malt syrup, the White House produce its own mash of malted barley. ?However, very few home brewers start by doing an actual mash ? I certainly didn?t ? so I?m happy to give the chefs a break here,?? he said.

He also suggested that, since the White House has been growing more of its own food, it plant barley and hops so that it could brew a beer entirely of White House ingredients.

?And if they need some brewing help,?? he said, ?I am standing by, ready to do my duty for my country.??

Source: http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/white-house-beer-a-brewer-weighs-in/

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Concern on Paterson green record

4 September 2012 Last updated at 09:05 ET By Roger Harrabin Environment analyst

Environmentalists have expressed fears that the reshuffle makes the government more likely to take decisions against the environment.

Former Northern Ireland secretary Owen Paterson has taken over the environment brief from Caroline Spelman.

Green groups are concerned about Mr Paterson's track record on shale gas and energy subsidies.

They also say the removal of Justine Greening could signal a U-turn on building a third runway at Heathrow.

The reshuffle is the first major restructuring since the Conservative-Lib Dem government came to power.

Ms Spelman, Conservative MP for Meriden, was made Environment Secretary when the Coalition took office in 2010.

Mr Paterson takes over a portfolio - the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) - with a ?2.2bn budget.

But it was reported in Conservative Home that Mr Paterson wants to end all energy subsidies and fast-track exploitation of shale gas.

This would shatter any ambition for the UK of keeping to targets for renewables or greenhouse gases.

As MP for North Shropshire, he has also campaigned against plans to expand output from Welsh wind farms because of the impact of pylons on the landscape.

Mr Paterson also wants to expand airport capacity, which would also threaten climate targets.

He was shadow minister for agriculture, fisheries and food between 2003 and 2005 and has also served as front bench spokesperson for transport.

He is the brother-in-law of the leading climate change sceptic Matt Ridley.

Some environmentalists have also told the BBC they are concerned by the removal of Justine Greening and Theresa Villiers from the Department for Transport.

They believe Mr Cameron is clearing the way for a Conservative U-turn on its opposition to a third runway at Heathrow before the next election.

Zac Goldsmith, the Conservative MP for Richmond Park and North Kingston, tweeted: "Greening's appointment 11 months ago indicated the PM's position on Heathrow was solid. Yielding so easily suggests panic, not principle."

London Mayor Boris Johnson expressed anger over the move: "There can be only one reason to move her - and that is to expand Heathrow Airport," he explained.

But Jean Leston, senior transport policy adviser at WWF-UK, signalled a more relaxed tone: "Justine Greening has been an impressive minister, who has dared to stand up to the aviation lobby and question the need for Southeast airport expansion.

"Patrick McLoughlin's return to the Department for Transport is a welcome move and will surely continue Justine Greening's robust defence of Government and party policy on aviation."

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19476970#sa-ns_mchannel=rss&ns_source=PublicRSS20-sa

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VACANCY: Development Funding Manager - Edmund Rice Beyond ...

Edmund Rice Development is currently seeking to recruit a Development Funding Manager.

DEPARTMENT:????? ???? ?? ?? Development/ Institutional Funding

REPORTS TO:???????? ???????? Chief Executive Officer

BASED:??????????????????? ???? ? ??? Dublin 1, Ireland (involving some international travel)

SALARY:???????????????????????????? Commensurate with experience

Position Summary:

The Development Funding Manager will be responsible for maintaining and growing Edmund Rice Development?s existing development/institutional funding base, specifically by acting as the organisation?s Liaison Officer for the Irish missionary funding agency Misean Cara, and by maintaining and developing relationships with other existing Agency, Trust and Foundation funders. They will also have responsibility for proactively developing this funding base further by identifying multi-annual and strategic funding opportunities, and by initiating and developing subsequent grant proposals, and writing and submitting applications in partnership with those in the field.

Background:

Edmund Rice Development www.edmundricedevelopment.org is a faith-based development charity and fundraising body established in 2008 in Ireland by the Congregation of Christian Brothers. Its purpose is to allocate funding, and oversee fundraising activity, for the benefit of the international development work of the Christian Brothers and the wider Edmund Rice network. This mission incorporates over 85 projects and programmes in the areas of Education (primary and secondary schools, and skills-training colleges), Health projects, Community Development work and Human Rights/ Advocacy programmes in Africa, India, Latin America and Asia-Pacific.

The organisation has a small established base of institutional funders ? primary amongst these is Misean Cara www.miseancara.ie, the Irish missionary funding agency. In recent years, funding relationships have also been developed with a small number private Foundations. In 2012-13 Edmund Rice Development is? coordinating a major global fundraising appeal www.erbeyond250.org within the Edmund Rice network to raise funds from private donors to fund current development work. The organisation now wishes to build on this existing donor base, by developing further multi-annual and strategic funding relationships with other Governmental agencies, Foundations and Trusts.

The Role:

Reporting directly to the CEO and based at our offices at Edmund Rice House, North Richmond Street, Dublin 1, Ireland, the role is expected to involve an element of international travel and will encompass the following:

Primary responsibilities:

1. Acting as Edmund Rice Development?s Liaison Officer for Misean Cara. This involves:

- Liaising with missionaries and Edmund Rice personnel in the field with regards to the submission of funding proposals. Ensuring applications are fully in order, and meet all of the agency?s guidelines prior to submission.

- Ensuring all reporting, monitoring and evaluation standards are met for Misean Cara funded projects and programmes.

- Raising awareness of funding opportunities within Misean Cara which may be of relevance/ interest to missionaries and Edmund Rice personnel in the field.

- Coordinating training, monitoring, evaluation, knowledge-building and other visits by Misean Cara and their agents to projects in the field.

2. Identifying projects and programmes (within the network?s developing world mission and human rights/ advocacy long-term strategies) for development into funding proposals.

3. Writing grant proposals in partnership with those in the field, and sourcing multi-annual funding from European and international foundations and funding agencies.

4. Maintaining all institutional funding records and database, and undertaking all other stewardship and reporting duties relating to institutional funders within Edmund Rice Development.

From time to time, the Development Funding Manager may also be required to complete other duties and projects as assigned by the CEO.

Required Skills and Experience:

• At least 3-5 years proven experience of grant-writing, fundraising from agencies and institutions, or project management within an NGO, faith-based organisation or governmental funding body.
• Excellent verbal and written communications skills.
• Excellent organisational skills.
• Self-motivation, with an ability to take initiative and be creative.
• Ability to work both on an individual basis, and with a team of people in the field and at head office.
• Fluent English.
• Excellent I.T. skills ? specifically in MS Office.
• High commitment to service provision in a faith-based organisation.

Other Desirable Skills and Experience

• A degree or post-graduate qualification in International Development would be a distinct advantage.
• Demonstrable expertise in fundraising and donor relations.
• Expertise or knowledge of current international development or human rights and advocacy issues
• A demonstrated ability to manage multiple priorities in a complex and dynamic cross-cultural setting
• Direct relationship management experience
• Use of relationship databases or software

?

To Apply:

Please send current Curriculum Vita, together with a covering letter outlining your suitability for the role no later than Monday 24^th September 2012 to:

?

Emma Hennessy

Edmund Rice Development

Edmund Rice House

North Richmond Street

Dublin 1

Ireland

E: office@edmundricedevelopment.org

T: +353 1 819 6782

?

Edmund Rice Development is an equal opportunities employer.

?

?

Back to News

Source: http://www.erbeyond250.org/2012/vacancy/

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Commercial Mortgage Financing - Welcome to Coast City - Typepad

Ever wondered what you could do with a commercial mortgage? Nicely, to be quite candid, there is a plethora of approaches to make use of a commercial mortgage. Such a mortgage can be used to finance numerous diverse types of properties, so lets take a minute to review these properties. Of course, not all commercial investments are made equal. Some inherently involve a lot more threat than other individuals. As an outcome, some banks and economic institutions that provide commercial mortgages might or might not offer a product that finances 1 of the following. As often, it will be up to you to shop about and locate a commercial loan broker that delivers a commercial mortgage package that fits your needs.

Apartments Fantastic investment opportunities exist with apartments. Apartments serve as a wonderful type of securitization for a commercial mortgage. They also prove to be excellent revenue properties, as apartments that are managed effectively can bring in good money flows at the same time as equity is becoming made.

Well being Care Facilities A commercial mortgage can also be used to finance wellness care facilities. Such an investment provided two distinct advantages. 1st, you are investing in a conventional enterprise that has an expanding marketplace and client base. Second, you are also making an investment in land and facilities that will appreciate over time, making good equity for you. Investing in this sort of property and company is not so far fetched when you comprehend just how accessible a commercial mortgage genuinely is.

Industrial Even though industrial spaces are neither glamorous nor thrilling investments, they are surely valuable. Most lending institutions will supply some sort of commercial mortgage that makes it possible for for investment in industrial spaces. Such an investment normally proves to be a solid investment considering that industries are usually growing and this variety of space will constantly be required.

Manufacturing If you are interested in expanding your organization and escalating your manufacturing capacity, a commercial mortgage may be the way to go. You can use a commercial mortgage to finance the expansion of your manufacturing facilities and as a result develop your enterprise in the method.

Warehouse Not really a lot of businesses can continue to grow and prove effective with no room for inventory. If you discover your company is prepared to take it to the subsequent level, and you are brief on warehouse space a commercial mortgage can aid you as well. Numerous large lending institutions have a commercial mortgage created to finance warehouse expansion, so dont hesitate to make contact with your commercial loan broker nowadays if you are prepared to expand.

Retail Structures Even retailers want financing to construct new retailers, enhance their accessibility, and grow their organization. When retailers are ready to fund a new project, they turn to a commercial mortgage as well.

Workplace Complexes Workplace parks and buildings are financed the same way as all the other individuals, with a commercial mortgage. Office complexes also prove to be excellent investment properties for investors in the real estate industry, as the risk of vacancy in workplace complexes is significantly much less than that of retail spaces.

You may possibly have noticed a trend although you read this list. Indeed, a commercial mortgage can be used to finance just about any sort of commercial house. So when you are in the market for a commercial property, go visit your commercial loan broker.

To know more, please go to: go there

Source: http://www.welcometocoastcity.org/commercial-mortgage-financing.php

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Source: http://jcshelton.typepad.com/blog/2012/09/commercial-mortgage-financing-welcome-to-coast-city.html

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